I'm labeling these writings as a reference guide starting with my first article about First Steps because I truly don't know how I pulled everything together to lose this weight. I don't believe there is any one right way to go about weight loss. These are just my experiences, how I motivated myself, and the ideas I created to eventually trick myself into being fit. Just use this as a tool to create your own plan, I chose running, some people got bad knees. You have to adapt a plan for yourself. I use the word "fat" a lot don't get all PC with me, I am talking about me, calm down. Please share this with anyone that you think could benefit, all my contact info is below if you have any questions that my sporadic writings did not answer for you.
I Am Absolutely Insane
Luckily most of the people I surround myself with are too. I tend to say “I love the idea of that” quite a bit, like the idea of a Miniature Pinscher named Ricky Bobby driving an 18 wheeler, wearing a trucker hat, snorting cocaine off a hookers tits, up for 3 days trying to get that shipment of medicine to the orphans or old people going to breakfast so early they wake up at 2 am going to Denny's at 3am so they can be first for the early bird special at 5 am.
"The idea" of something happening to us tends to seem much worse or better in our minds. When everything unfolds it is never exactly as we imagined, for better or worse. Ricky Bobby driving a big rig blown out of his mind is hilarious, in theory, but in reality I don’t want to drive next to next to a human doing that, let alone a dog.
The idea of that FIRST STEP is like watching an athlete break a leg on TV. "Nah dude" I don't want to see that, it is like I can feel my leg break with the 20 different angled, obnoxiously slow, close up replays. Bluh.
I know nothing about medicine and truthfully, should probably see a doctor soon, but Eric Parra did break my arm in 9th grade. The moment it happened, I didn't feel a thing, my adrenaline was pumping and my brain did not want to acknowledge the pain. Unfortunately all my other senses were not down with that movement, I saw Eric's reaction mixed with the cracking sound from my forearm. Throw in a tidal wave of nausea and I knew this "hurts like 8 bitches on a bitch boat".
Our minds love to romanticize ideas of grandeur and exaggerate times of despair. We imagine scenarios to their extremes, but when reality hits, that “idea” is pretty average. I’m just trying to say things are not as scary as they seem. Real terror is having to wait in a line, the reality of that is always worse than the idea.
Me looking at a long line
"Know yourself, know your worth. My actions been speaking louder then my words" - Drake
Yeah dude, I just quoted Drake, chill out. I take a lot of information in and try to make sense of it in terms relating to me; song lyrics, quotes from leaders, random shit I hear while in conversation. So when Big L told me about hustling, selling blow in the park, I can relate to him. Not that I know what it's like selling crack on a corner or posted up in a trap house, but in the sense he is out trying to get ahead. You can argue with his methods, but the goal is the same; To create a better life for ourselves. More on this "idea" later.
Part 2 of this series is not about music. This section is all about the path that led me to get started toward my change physically and mentally. I quoted drake here because I feel this lyric kind of personifies my journey; "The How" and "The Why".
I took a look back through my past, how I got to a point where putting on socks was now a physical activity. I asked myself what obstacles got in the way last time? What were you in to during the time you were most active? I wrote everything down and tried to map out why I stopped working out, not worry about the “because”. Rather than focus on the excuses for not working out; “because I don’t have time” “because I don’t have the right shoes” “Because I am way too hungover”. I focused on why I did, unfortunately a lot of it came down to an overload of excellent partying and poor diet. Which sucks because I am so good at partying, #SDSU #ClubWilshire #YouDontParty #43 #searchpartydestroy
I was going to delve into my past with weight control but I decided to just give a quick rundown. Just for background on ya boy,I have played sports my whole life, but my weight has always fluctuated from big too small to big again. Here is a picture run down :
Go creep through my photo’s on Facebook if you want to see the trends, I have much worse.
No matter what your history may be or what brought you to a point you needed growth, the only person who can fix this problem is you. (For the most part, mental health is serious though, seek help for that)
That's why I started simple, no prep work, just go.....at first.
July 1st 2014 I woke up at 6:00 am, I slept in my running clothes because any extra time I wasted would give me another excuse to wait until tomorrow. Laced up some old New Balance shoes that had been in my possession for way too long. Hit play on a sick playlist, created the night before titled “Bout That Action Boss”, as I stepped out the door. I stretched for about 4 minutes bumping Felt, track 4, “Hot Bars”.
I jogged a block down the street to Adelina park, rapping along to get me juiced up, “having a good, on the freeway, in Los A, in Murs’s El Dore' listenin' to Ghostface……” Nobody outside, except for the tiny Hispanic grandma that is always walking this early, her threat level minimal though. Once I got to the park I had one objective, be moving for 30 minutes. (Tracked my time and distance with MapMyRun, will be talking about all the references I used next time.)
I did not know how much I could run or if I even could. I mean fat or not fat, I am still an athlete, right? Hell, I would have gone pro if it I hadn’t blown out my knee in the big game…..and I were just a tad bit taller, faster, and stronger. I also never blew out my knee, these knees are solid.
Back To Reality
240 pounds of pure out of shape dude just jiggling. Sweating in less than a minute of jogging and looking dumb as hell running in circles. Didn't matter, I just had to be out there. How I was feeling was just that, feelings. The discomfort always subsides after you get a handle on anything.
Getting back to even my high school weight of "athletic chubby" would be more difficult then I thought. I ran about 5 minutes combined and walked the other 25. This is the point where I realized this was going to be a long hard journey with more disappointment, but I was still stoked because no one has ever accomplished anything amazing with out adversity.
I watched Lou Holtz motivational video when I was younger, he has got so many sayings but there is one quote I always remember when facing a gnarly road to success. I remember it in his voice too, (Lou Holtz story is absolutely amazing, triumph over adversity and what not, check it out)
Lou said “Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.”
I’ve never wanted to be average, as a matter a fact I have never felt average. So the greater the challenge, the easier it is for me to accept. I viewed this challenge through an athletic paradigm. A Richard Sherman mentality, I am the greatest. I would be as satisfied as Kobe Bryant with no rings (never satisfied for those that don't follow sports). When you work harder then everyone, there is no way you can fail.
Kanye West may be an ass but he was foolish enough to know he is a lyrical genius and put out music that even makes me feel like I deserve all the awards and fuck everyone for not giving it to me. (just in my mind)
My mom tells me I have an unhealthy love for myself, this is most likely true but for me to tackle this issue it did not take confidence; It took arrogance. I was arrogant as fuck to think I could lose weight, when I had failed so many times before. This time though I only had objectives, no expectations, and no “ideas” of a time frame to be done. I just knew I could do it, there was no questioning, it was only dependent on my effort. Just like any sport I tried, if I couldn't win with sheer talent, I had to go harder then everyone. KNOW YOUR WORTH.
"When you peel back truly what's inside of a person to compete and be at that high level, it scares a lot of people that are comfortable just being average." - Kobe Bryant
I started off with 2 main rules;
- I had to run EVERYDAY (walking the full 30 some days)
- go H.A.M. as I could. Don't think about it, be "bout it bout it".
KNOW YOURSELF. Literally nobody knows YOUR body like you and sometimes you can't even tell. Knowing your limits can insure you get the most out of not just a workout, but life. You can keep pushing even when you are "dying". The first few months I pushed myself to the limit. I would run as long as I could, going from random sprints to slow jogs. When my body, not brain, told me to slow down, I would walk. As soon as the feeling passed I would get right back to a steady pace.
The brain is telling your body it cannot handle any more, so you do not exhaust yourself because their still might be some danger, you know from like predators. Your body can still handle more though,it is all between the ears. It's kind of like a friend telling you not to have any more drinks because you will get too drunk, even though you have only had a few drinks. "Psshhhh back off bro" that's what I tell my mind.
Can't Stop Won't Stop
Again, I am not a doctor or even a professional, so please don’t go out and have a heart attack. Know yourself and do what you can, but don’t cheat yourself. Do yourself a favor, go check out Mel Robbin's TED talk -" F___ You - Stop screwing yourself", it is one of the first TED talks I watched continue to re-watch, great way to just start.
Once I started, I could not look back, I knew I COULD NEVER STOP. I also knew moving around for 30 minutes a day would never get the results I desired, so I started backing up my emotional want for change with some scientific and some "not so" scientific knowledge. Next time on Serial, I mean, my next piece I’m going to dive into all the mass amounts of information I read, watched, and listened to.
I leave you with this, there is never a good place to start, so just do it, don’t make this your virginity all over again (I was not trying save it though) because in the end it’s just a fu….a work out. For now grab your fucking shoes, put on some dope jams, and always remember what Too Short said “you should be getting it, getting while the getting is good."
Adam Shawesh - Comedian, Writer, and Overall Dope